I am NOT a d**n jungle gym!

Ohhhh, if I had a dollar for every time I said that, we’d be just about out of debt! Why does my toddler insist upon climbing me like a tree?! I’m supposed to be climbing Daddy like a tree, (which is how I got in this situation in the first place!) not being the one who gets climbed! And the clothes pulling, jeebus mother is that irritating. I mean, it’s not that what I’m wearing is all fancy or expensive or anything; it’s that I’m a poor b***h and can’t afford to replace what she stretches out!  I’ve already given up on trying to keep my clothes from getting all dirty from her constant snacking, I’m not quite ready to with the overstretched shirts. And then there’s this: elbow. in. the. boob. EVERY TIME.  And you know what’s really f****d up is that you know what you’re getting into before you have a kid, but somehow you delude yourself into thinking it won’t be that bad. Don’t get me wrong, I really love the little s**t, it’s just that I sometimes need to scream at the absolute top of my lungs to keep from throwing all my breakables at a wall. I do however, love it when she climbs up just to snuggle and be sweet. Why don’t you do more of that, you little turd? Oh, and did I mention that at the current moment I am hobbling about in a purple cast with a broken ankle? I didn’t? Well, let me tell you, it’s not easy trying to wrangle a toddler while scooting around (on a knee scooter, amazing inventions that make things sooooo much easier), trying like hell not to tip over. And I don’t even want to start in on the house cleaning! But seriously, most of the time I feel pretty d**n blessed to be in my home with my baby. Hoping you have a  wonderful, lovely, climb free Sunday.


jungle gym


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